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about
I was a pastor for a little over a decade. I’m not a pastor anymore. Having your spiritual beliefs tied to your career—and, ultimately, your income—is a tricky thing. I still believe in god, but in a very different way; one that’s not conducive to Christian leadership.
I wrote this song in early 2015, around a year before I quit being a full-time pastor. It was a difficult decision, a giant leap, to change careers and, essentially, leave a community. I still miss it sometimes but I don’t regret the choice.
This song is about that daunting and beautiful realization that my beliefs had changed enough that it was time to find a new job.
__________
lyrics
My heart has been divided
For the better part of a year
But I still do the things I know I should
Maybe I have lost my way or maybe I’ve found God
Either way it’s time to move on
I can't seem to find you
In the places I think you should be
So, I fold my map into a paper plane
The borders were already fading, grey on grey on grey
I know it’s time to move on
The more I thought I knew you
The further I felt from you
And somehow distance brought me closer
Blind as I’d become, I used to wonder where you were
Now I can’t find anywhere you aren’t
__________
credits
released October 29, 2021
Recorded and mixed at home
Mastered by Alan Poettcker
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